Entry 25: If You’re a Freak Like Me, This is the Hardest Part!

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I am, quite literally, addicted to exercise. Specifically, running and Barry’s Boot Camp. Those things are to me what food, sleep and oxygen are to most; obviously, I need those things too, but I can’t live without exercise. Some people find it hard to believe, annoying even, but I’m not apologizing for it. It’s my way of coping, and it’s what keeps me (relatively) sane.

Which is why THIS is the hardest part of the journey.

I can accept that a week and a half after the harvest, my belly is still bulging because my ovaries are jumbo sized, and that my boobs don’t currently fit into most of my bras. But now, my ass is starting to feel saggy and I’m getting grumpy. It was easy not to exercise while I was doing the shots, and while I was recovering from the procedure, but now it’s getting hard to stay away from my runner’s high.

The other strange thing that’s happening is that I can almost feel my estrogen levels dropping. I can’t describe it, but I know my estrogen has drastically declined and I’ve had a severe headache for the last 4 days – it literally feels like my brain is bleeding. I never thought I would say this, but I can’t wait to start my period (apparently, that’s when life goes back to normal).

Everyone keeps reminding me that pregnancy will do even crazier things to my body, and to those people, I say, ‘shut the F up.’ At the end of a pregnancy, you’re left with a bundle of joy. A human life you created. I have 28 eggs on ice. And don’t get me wrong, I am very, very, very happy with those eggs; in fact, I love them almost like children (because hopefully, some of them will become babies), but your body changing so drastically after a 9 day oocyte cryopreservation cycle and your body changing drastically because of a 9 month pregnancy that produces a human life, are not quite the same thing.

But I promise to be nice again as soon as my head stops pounding, and I get a hit of Barry’s.

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