My name is Agnes Fischer and I’m a 30 something year old who is, frankly, a little bit freaked out about when, how, and if I’ll ever have babies. It’s not something I like to admit because people’s perception of the desire to be a mother when you’re a single woman is that you’re desperately searching for a man. I can assure you that is not the case. If it was, I would have just stayed in my marriage. . .
My ex and I started trying to have a baby (first without, then with medical intervention) when I was 34. And it didn’t take. Then our marriage didn’t take, and I found myself going from the mindset of ‘we’re trying to have babies!’ to ‘shit, I’m 30 something and single’ overnight. This was especially scary because I had gotten a glimpse of how difficult getting pregnant actually is (why didn’t anyone EVER tell me that?).
I didn’t want my biological clock – a clock that sometimes felt more like a time-bomb – to drive the decisions I made about my relationship status. So, rather than run from one relationship to the next in the hopes of finally settling down and starting a family, I decided to preserve my sense of freedom and independence by preserving my ability to have babies in the future – either as a single woman or with a partner.
Not only did I freeze my eggs with great success (I’m the proud mamma of 28 little guys or gals), I blogged about it in an effort to raise awareness around fertility realities, and the options women have today. My goal is to make the subject perfectly normal to talk about at dinner parties, without judgement or assumptions about the women who need help preserving their fertility or getting pregnant. Through more dialogue and conversation, I hope that egg freezing can become a more realistic and accessible option for all women, not just those who can afford to shell out $10-20K.
I started FrozenPlease.com because there was nothing else out there that spoke to me about this topic in a way that felt normal, real, human, and relatable to me and my life. It’s time for us to all feel like we can have conversations about this very important topic, so Alison and I want to invite other women to share in the dialogue. Please join us in our efforts to take away the stigma around egg freezing or any other fertility issues, and most importantly, to take away the stigma of being a woman of a certain age who wants babies!
My name is Alison Fyfe and I’ve always known I’ve wanted to be a mother. When people asked me growing up, what do you want to be, I consistently answered with whichever profession was inspiring me at the time, but quickly added, “…and a great mom”. And like many women in their 30’s, that desire has become more and more relevant as relationships take on more meaning and you begin to consider who you want to share that experience with. Except that you haven’t found that person.
Driven by experiences, I’ve lived in different cities, worked at great companies and challenged myself with post-graduate studies. But dating and relationships have always been equally as important as those adventures… and I’ve had some amazing boyfriends along the way.
I realized I was starting to jump into relationships and automatically skip ten steps ahead trying to map out our life plan. Rather than relishing in the moments of getting to know someone new, I found myself caught up in a timeline. And it wasn’t doing me, or my dating life, any favors. So, rather than let this increasing pressure weigh on me, I decided to focus on what I could control and decided to freeze my eggs knowing that one day, whether I find that partner or don’t, I can pursue my dream of having children.
The experience became so much more than just a weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt empowered. I was also inspired to share my story with others to help bring a stronger (and louder) voice to the broader topic of women’s fertility health and the options we have today.
My hope is our blog will not only inspire and educate, but also provide a platform to share your own journey.