One week ago today, I stood in my kitchen with Heather freaking out about my first shot. And only a week in, I’m nearly done! I’m going to the doctor tomorrow, first thing in the morning. They’ll do more blood work and an ultrasound, then in the afternoon, they’ll let me know what my estrogen levels are and when the egg retrieval is. And in a couple of days, it’ll all be over.
During the past week, I’ve learned a few things about myself.
1. I learned that needles don’t actually bother me that much. In fact, I don’t mind giving myself shots at all.
2. I learned that I think I’ll really enjoy being pregnant. If I can get so into harvesting a few eggs, I think I’ll do even better with the real thing.
3. I learned that I quite enjoy writing, and have found it more therapeutic than . . . well, therapy.
4. I learned that I can cope without the things I thought I would miss the most (well, after wine and Xanax, of course); a week without Barry’s Boot Camp and caffeine hasn’t been terrible.
5. But most importantly, I learned that my previous notions of what family looks like may be shifting. I realized this week that while I’m not sure I ever want to be a wife again, I know I definitely want to be a mom some day – and that epiphany has made me start to reconsider my views on what family entails. I always assumed it would be: me + handsome, smart, loving husband + babies = family. I’m now starting to think it’s more like: me + baby(ies) + my mom, brothers, etc. + my close friends + maybe at some point a significant other = family.
Anyway, I’m not ready to make rash decisions and I may very well change my mind when my estrogen goes back down to human levels. In fact, I had planned to put such thoughts out of my mind, but then I saw the below pamphlet at my pharmacy this morning.
Are the fertility Gods trying to tell me something?
Anyway, this morning’s shot which I nearly forgot to give myself.
And this evening’s shot which was quite clumsy – and I bled for the first time – I can’t find any unused real estate!
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